Leading Without Losing Them (or Yourself): A Call to Women of Color Executives to Build Sustainably

You made it to the table. The question is—what are we building now that we’re here?

For those of us who are women of color at the top of our organizations, there’s a weight we don’t often name.

We carry the legacy of being the “first.”

The responsibility of being the “only.”

The pressure of being “excellent” at all times.

And now, we hold the power to shape what leadership looks like for those coming behind us.

This moment is about more than your personal endurance. It’s about your structural influence. It’s about building systems that don’t require the next generation of women of color to burn out in order to lead.

Because we remember what it was like.

And now that we’re in a position to change it—we must.

You Remember, Don’t You?

You remember the years you over performed just to be seen.

The times you swallowed your truth in the name of “professionalism.”

The times you were expected to be both the cultural bridge and the bulletproof shield.

You remember how lonely it was.

How loudly the silence of being unsupported echoed.

And how long it took to believe that you could be powerful and still be human.

You survived it. But survival is not the blueprint we should be passing down.

Excellence is Not a Strategy—It’s a Survival Response

For many women of color, exceptionalism wasn’t ambition—it was self-defense.

We were told (or shown) that we had to be twice as good just to be considered competent.

Now, as executives, we may unconsciously perpetuate the same expectations.

The bar stays high. The grind stays glorified. And the system stays brittle.

But now, with power in hand, we have the chance to build a new normal. One that doesn’t just expect greatness from leaders of color—it sustains it.

What Does a Supportive System Actually Look Like?

A supportive leadership ecosystem for women of color isn’t just a mentorship program or a nice quote in a strategic plan. It’s intentional design.

Here’s what you can build:

Normalize Recovery, Not Just Resilience

Stop praising the leaders who “push through.” I am tired of hearing this phrase and how it contributes to the glorification of the Martyr Syndrome (yes, I capitalized it because it is a serious affliction many of our leaders suffer from).

Instead, we need to start celebrating those who pause, reflect, heal, and ask for help.

Build in sabbaticals. Normalize wellness budgets. Redefine what “strong” looks like.

Make the Invisible Visible

Many women of color are doing “cultural labor”—coaching peers on inclusion, managing micro-aggressions, holding space for others—all without compensation or recognition.

Codify that work. Compensate it. Protect it.

Create Leadership Ladders, Not Labyrinths

Too many promising women of color leaders are stuck in positional purgatory. They’re told they’re talented, but not “ready.”

Ready for what?

I remember a phone call I received from a supervisor who was informing me that I had not received a promotion because the hiring team felt it would be too difficult to replace me. My boss felt I was excellent at my current position and felt it would create too much change to move me. So what did I do? I wrote my letter of resignation, left the organization, and went to join a different team that had been recruiting me for a while. My boss ended up having to replace me anyway. That phone conversation informing me I had not received the promotion is the kind of coded language used to keep you in positional purgatory.

Instead, give real pathways:

• Transparent promotion criteria

• Coaching and sponsorship (not just mentorship)

• Opportunities to lead boldly, not just safely

Design with, not for

Don’t assume what your leaders of color need—ask them. Create feedback loops that matter. Include them in shaping the very systems they’re navigating.

They’ll tell you what’s not working. The real leadership is listening.

Your Power is Permission

When you model rest, others feel safe to rest.

When you speak up, others feel safe to be honest.

When you build structure instead of relying on charisma and willpower, you create sustainability.

Your power is not just in what you say—it’s in what you make possible.

You can either build a system that asks the next woman of color to be superhuman…

Or you can build a system that lets her be fully human and still thrive.

The Legacy You’re Building

What if your legacy isn’t just what you led, but how well others got to lead because of you?

What if the next generation of women of color doesn’t have to lead from a place of exhaustion, performance, and fear of being misunderstood?

What if they lead from wholeness, strength, vision, and support?

You have the power to make that real.

And that power, wielded with care, changes everything.

Reflective Questions for Executive Women of Color

• What parts of my leadership culture reward overextension over sustainability?
  

• How are women of color leaders being developed, supported, and truly valued in my organization?
  

• What am I modeling that others might feel they have to emulate?
  

• Am I building systems that could still support leaders of color if I wasn’t in the room?
  

Final Word

To all the executive women of color: you’ve already broken the mold. Now let’s build the structure.

One that doesn’t just make room at the top—but creates real, lasting support across every level.

Because we didn’t come this far just to hold the door open.

We came to remodel the whole house.

Let’s make it one where no one has to lose themselves to lead.